Tuesday, March 17, 2020

Discovering Advice in Unexpected Places

Recently I've been doing a lot of thinking. Okay not really thinking, more daily trips down memory lane. Turns out I've been letting a lot of people have an affect on certain things I do. Which is complete bull shark. I came across a great screenshot on pinterest that really gets to the heart of this problem. This bit of advice is truly astounding, "Don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't ever go to for advice." Amazing, right? 

In my years as a mermaid I've heard a lot of criticism. In my years being alive, I've heard even more. I don't know about you, Seastars but I'm adding this to my arsenal of responses. Let's make this a year of solid boundaries, Seastars! 

Don't forget, you're strong, you're important, and you can do this! 

- Seaspray

Sunday, March 15, 2020

Discovering Change

So a major, unfortunate huddle recently tried to get in my way. I'm not going to lie to you, it hit me harder than I thought. I saw this hurdle coming and still let myself believe somehow it wasn't going to happen. But silver lining, now I can focus on getting back into school. That's right, mermaids school. And this little mermaid wants to start her new journey aiming for Environmental Science. Nifty huh? Now the hurdle has friends with distressing questions but I firmly believe every question will be answered with a solution. In fact I claim it. I claim an answer to every distressing question surrounding my new circumstance. 
Again I won't lie to you, my mental health took a bit of a hit. A six day hit. And that's okay. It's okay to grieve change. As long as there's a plan. I spent six days moping around my grotto, feeling upset and angry and yes, even hurt. And I've come to the conclusion that the person who caused this does not deserve my energy anymore. It's time to retrieve my fallen crown, lift my chin, and admire that beautiful horizon that is my future. 
I will not be held back. 

If you've recently been met with a change or a hurdle, it is okay to take some time and process. But please remember what you're worth. You are more precious than rubies. In fact you are priceless. Grab your crown and flaunt it! Don't let the naysayers get in your way. 

We've got this! 
- Seaspray

Sunday, February 16, 2020

Answering Childhood Questions

So I've been thinking a lot about The Hunchback of Notre Dame, specifically the song "Out There." I've always identified with that song, though until quite recently I could never figure out why. Quasimodo and I have nothing in common. Then it connected. Frollo's voice mirrors my depression and anxiety. "You are deformed... you are ugly...I am your only friend." My brain is holding me captive through lies. I have been allowing these constant fears about how other people see me pick at my actions. And at the end of the day what other people think does not matter. It does not matter that someone may think negative things about me. I'm out here trying to live my best life and build a great life for my kid. And really, if anyone is trying to judge me they are wasting a lot of effort. It's no one's place to judge anyone else. We are all flawed. 

Now those of you who also struggle with depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses will understand how hard it is to fight your own brain. It is a daily battle to choose to say "I will live out there" "I will be happy." Personally I have to repeat positive things to myself, I am constantly reminding myself that the Anxiety Monster is really just a lying imp trying to make itself bigger than it ever will be. 

Today I choose freedom. Today I choose to be "Out There."

What about you? What do you struggle with and how do you fight back? 

You are all warriors. 

~Seaspray 

Monday, February 10, 2020

Starting Over


"And every time they try to make you feel unworthy, just go towards yourself, choose to love yourself more,  and build an unshakable bond with your worth, that there's nothing they can ever do to take you away from it" ~butterflies rising 

I'm hoping to start posting here more often. My laptop needs to be replaced and I now have a full schedule. 
I promise I'm doing everything I can to get you the content you deserve. 

Go make some waves, 

Seaspray