Hey, seastars! I recently started two new exercise routines and holy carp! I can really feel my muscles! I added exercise to my routine for a number of reasons, but the main motivator is my old friend- Self-Consciousness.
I've always struggled with my body image. That is to say, I have never truly liked how I looked. I was bullied in school, and out of school surrounded by rail-thin models and a barrage of constant reminders that I would never be good enough. I'm not talking about my direct home environment, of course. I'm referring to magazines, TV, and other forms of advertisement. The images we see in the media are distorted and unhealthy. I felt uncomfortable in my skin when I was swimming constantly, and out in the sun daily. Some of my self-hatred was age-related, sure. But those gorgeous super-models really played a role. How can anyone see themselves as the treasure they are when all they see are examples of things that don't exist. The magazine models are photoshopped and air-brushed into inhuman goddesses, strutting across shiny pages with their thin legs and long waists.
To be entirely honest, I have yet to shake my old friend; that ever-present companion that makes me avoid simple things like clothes shopping. I am a mother. Motherhood changes everything from hormonal balance to bone structure. On average, it takes a woman at least a year to completely heal from giving birth. The movies lied! Movies make giving birth seem like a beautiful struggle that leaves women glowing, meandering out of the hospital with flat bellies and happy smiles. Now it is beautiful, in a raw emotion way. But I was sorely disappointed to learn I would not snap back into my old body. In fact, getting into shape proved difficult when I was given medical clearance. Exercises proved far more difficult than before baby. I was used to hating my body, but now my body was hating me! I gave up in a week.
Fast forward to this year. I've made a year-long commitment to change myself, and my life for the better. I finally am able to work two routines into my day. This time I went in with realistic expectations and forced myself to slow down. I forced myself to be kind to myself. And I feel great! I absolutely expect down days, I even expect to skip a few days. For now, I choose to bask in the good feeling. I've never really been one to like sitting around, and finally being able to work my muscles is a slice of Heaven.
Who knows? Maybe by the end of the year, I'll be rid of my toxic enemy, Self-Consciousness.
If you are trying to change any part of yourself or your life, please, please be kind to yourself. Take a breath and remember these things do take time. Actually, it takes around a month to notice a change. So hang in there, and don't be afraid to indulge in that cheesecake once in a while!
We can do this!
Seaspray
P.S. Check out my website and learn how you can become a member of Seaspray's Shoal today!
Mermaid kisses and starfish wishes!
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